Co-parenting at Christmas: Holiday Guidelines
If you are raising children post-divorce, it’s no surprise that holiday time with your kids can be complicated. As parents, it is important to remember that there are some easy-to-follow holiday guidelines to help navigate complex family dynamics by seeking the advice of a competent custody lawyer.
Here are Christmas co-parenting strategies that encourage the spirit of volunteering and giving back to the community;
Participating in Community Tree Lightings or Festivals
If you are a divorced or separated parent and your kids participate in a community tree lighting or festival, plan to attend together. It’s a great way to demonstrate exceptional child care even though you’re no longer living together, you can remember special events and can put aside differences for the good of your kids. When done properly, it even offers a chance to demonstrate good co-parenting skills. With a little planning, you can even make the event something to remember.
The dos:
A common thing that children in two-home families experience at this time of year is a visit to a community tree lighting, Santa Claus Parade, or Festival. In most cases, someone who is an expert in tree cutting is contracted to trim the tree into the desired shape before the process of tree lighting is executed. If you have been invited by your co-parent to attend one of these events, it is important to plan what you will do with the child. At the time of making parenting arrangements, parents should agree on what parenting-time schedule will be followed. Parents might consider creating a document that outlines details about the co-parenting plan and attach it to their court orders (i.e., separation agreement, access, and custody order). This will help clarify how family holidays, special occasions, and parenting time will unfold.
The don’ts:
Realize that the event is not about you and your relationship with your child’s other parents. The event is about your child, so keep your co-parenting issues (which almost inevitably come up) away from the tree lighting. For example, if you have a child custody issue that needs to be addressed, don’t allow it to interfere with the tree lighting. Work out your issues before or after the event. Realize that your child may be feeling uncertain about the co-parenting situation.
Going to a Holiday Parade as a Co-Parenting Team
It is important to remember that while you may be separated or divorced during the holiday season, there are still children involved. Going out on Christmas Eve to see the Christmas parade together as co-parents can be a great way for both parents to spend time with their children and share some family values without causing more stress on either parent’s relationship. This is a great way for co-parents to show their children that Christmas isn’t about presents and it’s not about who gets the most time with the kids. It’s all about spending time together as a family and making memories while sharing some of your values.
The dos:
The holiday season is fun and enjoyable for children of all ages. When parents work together, an outing with the kids to a parade is great quality time and will be remembered fondly for years to come. Take the time to talk with your ex before agreeing on a plan together. If you find it difficult to communicate, consider using a family attorney or service like Child Access Solutions. The last thing you want is for your child to become stressed out by having to ‘choose sides’ in their mind.
Choosing a parade to attend is an important part of the process. Make sure you both pick something your child would enjoy. If possible, try to find a parade with one or more of their favorite characters. A dance troop that teaches children songs and dances can be great fun for younger kids.
The don’ts:
As the holiday season approaches, most parents may have to think about going to a big parade with their children. Parenting experts have confirmed that these public events can be great learning opportunities for children and opportunities for improved parent/child bonds. Most parades celebrate this upcoming time of year and usually include music, lights, costumes, and floats. Children can learn a lot about life and teamwork from attending these public events with their parents. However, parades may also be the scene of intense family conflict for many parents. If parents are not prepared, parades can become places where harsh words or conflicts can escalate into violence. To avoid this, parenting experts recommend that parents understand the risks associated with parades and take steps to reduce these.
Participating in Community Holiday Meal Services
The holiday season is a time of joy and stress. For those parents who live apart during the year, it can also be a time of conflict. A new study suggests that one way separated parents can try to ease some of this tension is to participate as co-parents in organizing and helping out with community holiday meal services. According to the study, co-participation in holidays can help promote a better long-term relationship between separated parents and encourage more positive parenting. While a well child visit during the festive season does not guarantee good post-separation or post-divorce outcomes, it may represent an important step toward mitigating some of the difficulties that often accompany family holidays.
The dos
The holiday season can be complicated when children are born into families that do not live with both biological parents. Many of these families use holiday events as a co-parenting opportunity for celebration and visitation. One such event is the community holiday meal. There are many benefits to taking children to a community or church-sponsored holiday meal. It can be a low-cost, low-stress activity that allows parents and children to bond over the holidays. One thing to consider during this time is how to balance the holiday traditions and rituals of both parents with blended families.
The don’ts:
‘Community holiday meal services are a wonderful opportunity for families with two households to share in the spirit of giving. However, some obvious blunders should be avoided. Here are some tips for getting the most out of community holiday meal services. Do not come to the meal service prepared to share with others what you do in your home. If you are attending, it is assumed that you will respect other cultural and religious backgrounds by keeping your traditions private during this time. The holidays may be a time of mixed households, but it is still appropriate to be mindful of others.
Participating in a Toy Drive for Homeless Children
Undoubtedly, participating in a toy drive can be a fun way to show you are part of the community and help the less fortunate. However, sometimes being able to participate in a toy drive can be challenging. If you are going through a divorce and getting on opposite sides of the holiday equation, you might feel like your hands are tied when it comes to participating in a toy drive. However, there is a way that both parents can work together towards a common goal while also reaching individual goals. The key to making this happen is planning. If you agree that participating in a toy drive would be something good for the child, then discussing it as a co-parenting task can make it smoother.
The dos:
As the holidays are fast approaching, you may be thinking about participating in a toy drive for children living in homeless shelters. If you have young children, this is a great way to teach them the importance of giving back to their community. You can also turn this into a fun activity that will bring your family together by choosing to adopt toys with your child or children. Before participating in a toy drive for homeless children, you need to consider whether your co-parent is comfortable with this decision or they are more comfortable with the idea of dropping a gift basket instead. If you are in the process of divorce, you need to keep them informed of all decisions that involve your children, no matter how small.
The don’ts:
Organizing a toy drive for underprivileged children at Christmas time can prove to be a great way to give back and create a brighter future. When it comes to the holiday season, there is no greater gift you could give than Christmas gifts, but only when such generous efforts such as this are properly organized and executed. What you should avoid when participating in a toy drive for homeless children is anything that might prove to be an inconvenience and cause tension in the Family Law Court. Example: If you’re a separated dad who’s been assigned the role of organizing the toy drive, don’t do it on Christmas Eve. Wait until after December 25th so both parents can enjoy their children’s joy when they see all the gifts under the tree.
Hosting a Holiday Cookie Exchange
A holiday cookie exchange is a great way for you and your children’s other parents to share in the preparation of Christmas cookies with your combined family. If you and your ex-spouse share the responsibility of raising children during the holidays, co-parenting will likely be a part of your new holiday routine. While this may seem like an awkward shift in holiday celebrations at first, you can effectively implement a successful cookie exchange that both you and your ex-spouse will enjoy with some pre-planning and creative thinking. Informal exchanges that require participants to bring pre-baked cookies are the easiest to plan.
The dos:
The holiday season is both a rich time of traditions and merry-making and an often stressful time for families. With the increasing popularity of divorced or separated co-parents comes a similarly increased need to explore new ways to keep things civil during the holiday season. One solution that has gained in popularity in recent years is the ‘Holiday Cookie Exchange. The best thing to do when hosting a Holiday Cookie Exchange is to consider it from the beginning as a co-parenting strategy. The first step is to choose a time and place where you can meet up. Remember that this should not be held at your home, so avoid the places where you will host parties. Instead, try to find a neutral space such as non denominational churches or a community center. Make sure to designate an area that has enough room for all participants to participate comfortably.
The don’ts:
So, you are someone who is divorced or separated but still shares the holiday season with your former partner. Are you wondering what you should do? You have thought about hosting a cookie exchange or contributing to a workplace cookie bake-off but are concerned that it may upset the other parent. You know what? You should host a cookie exchange and make it a holiday tradition as part of your Christmas co-parenting strategy. However, it is important to avoid some common pitfalls that can make others feel unwelcome or uncomfortable. If you invite people to your house for this event, do not forget that you are no longer a couple who lives together or shares budgets! Your children may still spend time at both of your homes during the holidays, but this does not mean that you have to host an exchange in both homes.
Participating in Community Caroling
Caroling is not only a family tradition in many countries but also a means of bonding for families. To carol means to sing songs outside. A study found that singing together in harmony not only helps young children to bond but also adults. Singing songs outside without electronic devices might get people into the Christmas spirit and share it with others, especially families trying their best to co-parent despite the challenges of living together. As a Christmas co-parenting strategy, caroling might help estranged parents bond with their children and spend valuable time with them during the holiday season.
The dos:
Participating in community caroling as a Christmas co-parenting strategy can benefit children from divorced or separated parents. Studies have shown that the holiday season is often difficult for children who are separated from one of their parents. To promote a strong family environment for your child, it’s important to establish a parenting plan for the holiday season. A key element of child custody law is for each parent to fully disclose their time with the child during this special period. Remember, you communicate your shared parenting values and build trust in your co-parenting relationship by discussing every detail of life with your child during this period, no matter how small.
The don’ts:
Caroling is a good Christmas co-parenting plan, but there are some things to avoid when doing this. Caroling is just what it sounds like: dropping in on other people’s homes and singing songs of the season on their doorsteps while they listen or join you inside. It differs from randomly running into friends because you’re not in someone’s home to visit, but they are in yours. It’s a nice way to engage in some social time with neighbors and friends while spreading good cheer.
Caroling is also an excellent plan if you have children of different ages or one older than the other because it gives them something to do when everyone else is doing it together. If you have older children, they may be surprised at how much fun it is. Some communities also offer transportation for children who are too young to drive or walk to participate.
Participating in Ice Skating
Christmas is a time to celebrate, but it’s also tinged with sadness for many separated parents. The family has split up, and co-parenting is now the norm. It can be hard for both parents to make sure the children have an enjoyable Christmas holiday without their extended family. For some parents, the solution is to participate in a shared activity. Ice skating is becoming more popular as an activity that can bring parents together to benefit their children. It is a way to meet your co-parent, have an activity with the kids, and get away from all the other stress on the holidays.
The dos:
Christmas is about spending time with your kids and having a good time doing so. However, if you have decided to separate from the mother or father of your children for a long period, it can be difficult at times to see your children and enjoy your Christmas. What can you do about that? Of course, there are many things you could do, such as participating in ice skating. You can do this with your kids and enjoy some good quality time with them. Of course, if you are not used to ice skating, it can be an experience that is overwhelming at first. What you need to remember is that there are numerous opportunities for you to enjoy yourself. You need some practice first to have the confidence to try new things, which will help you have a good time with your kids.
The don’ts:
Going out for a skate is not only an excellent way to spend quality time together, but it’s an opportunity to enjoy a healthy activity with your child. And when they are wearing their new Christmas outfit, this is an opportunity to get some great pictures. However, for many parents, skating is also an opportunity to bring the kids together in a fun family activity where they can all spend time together. However, it is crucial to avoid certain traps to make the activity a success. It is important to avoid skating as a co-parenting strategy by bringing up the past. It would help if you reminded yourself that this activity is not about making things better or fixing what’s broken. You do not need to be friends with your ex, and it might be difficult, but try to keep your differences out of the rink and rather focus on having fun with your child.
Parenting arrangements for the holidays is a big decision and not one you should leave until Christmas Eve. If you have tried negotiating with your co-parent and can’t agree on a schedule, consider contacting a divorce mediator. Or see if the local family law lawyer offers free or low-cost assistance.
